Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Planetary Pronunciation Gone South

First, there was a question of the location of the spare toilet paper. @ couldn’t find it. He looked in the right places. I told him to check the shelf at eye level. Oops, wrong eyes. TG had put it at eye level, except it was his eye level. (Remember, the T stands for Tall…) Even better, it was at the back of the shelf.

TG's choice of TP placement brought on a discussion of whether he was opposed to @ actually using toilet paper. TG claimed he was trying to get @ to think about Star Trek. @ had to think a second… Wait, Klingons? Yep.

“Stop… that’s not funny.”

Somehow that brought up a question of pronunciation. Specifically, is the name of the planet pronounced yur-ay-niss or yurin-us? Where’s the syllable emphasis? Is it a long a or a short a? Because yur-ay-niss just sounds gross and yurin-us doesn’t sound much better and it doesn’t even make sense anyway. I mean, why would pee come out of something labeled with a word that actually has the word has anus in it? See, it doesn't make sense at all.

“Mom! Stop.”

Come on @, we just want you to think about astronomy. You know, like exploring dark space.

“Stop… That’s not funny. It's just not funny.” He threatened to lock us out of the house. 

But dude, you have to be careful. Seriously. You have to watch out for the black holes.

At that point he figured out that we were already in the house, which made locking us out of the house strategically difficult. So, he went out the front door and stood on the porch. And rang the doorbell to annoy the dogs.

Brown dog didn’t know whether to pay attention to the kid and the doorbell or check on the hysterically laughing humans in the kitchen. The black dog didn’t care. He’s deaf and unfazed by my antics. I was busy laughing. 

Have times changed so much? Do all eleven-year-old boys get ticked off about bodily function humor? Or is it just my eleven-year-old? Thankfully, he explained.

“Mom, it’s gross. I don’t expect that behavior from you. It’s inappropriate. You’re a mom. You’re an adult.”

I know I’m a mom, but do I gotta be an adult too? 


1 comment:

TIm O said...

Is the brown dog named Pluto?