Monday, November 26, 2007

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!

Sometimes a spot is just a spot. Or it's not. In this case, 'twas not a spot. Or it was, but upon further examination, it wasn't.

When my dad had his bone scan after his diagnosis from the biopsy, they found a spot, which they then x-rayed and determined was nothing after all. Meaning, the cancer is not in his bones. Which is good news. Damn good news.

This reality shit is exhausting. The physical exhaustion from the weekend was honestly cleansing. It felt much like I did after playing weekend soccer tournaments back in the days before the titanium toe. I'm fairly certain most people think I'm nuts, but I'm fairly certain they probably thought that before I answered the "What did you do this weekend?" question.

The exhausting part is all of the little lists in my head. Things to do, buy, decide. Work things, errand things, house things, dad things, and occasionally even me things. Apparently I have a habit of putting that list in the incorrect order. Ah, but 'tis easier to click through things that don't actually have any required emotion attached. (Kid things always leads the list, but that, now that, is not an exhausting list. That is the best list of all.)

And then, inexplicably, I have these people in my life who remind me that my list isn't always in the right order. And they say these really weird things like, "Yes, but how are you?" and "Are you going to be able to sleep or are you making lists in your head?" I like those people. They cut through my bullshit. And, inexplicably, I let them.

Today's exhaustion was knowing that while I was in San Jose at the dentist hearing, "Wow, that must really hurt, give it a couple of weeks to see if the nerve retracts on its own...", my dad was in Placerville at his doctor learning about "the spot."

Patience is good. HA.
Focus on work to kill time until you can get an answer. HA HA.
Care deeply about a page oh-so-close to the heart of a marketing guy not showing as high as he wants in Google. HA HA HA.
And oh yes, HA.

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