Monday, March 29, 2010

Polar Bear in Pursuit? Just Use a BSO!

Should you be chased by a polar bear down Mountain View's Castro Street while on foot, simply do a u-turn and a street fair will appear. Apparently, polar bears -- or people dressed in mangy polar bear costumes, yet still frightening when chasing you -- are easily distracted by jewelry at art & wine festivals.

But perhaps only the variety of art & wine festival that appears like a pond in the desert when you make an abrupt turnaround midstreet. I'm not sure. I've not experienced another polar bear chase -- costumed or otherwise -- nor encountered an apparition-type art & wine festival.

It was clear, however, that the jewelry (ooooh shiny, prett-ty shiny things) is what captured the attention of the bear. The BSO strategy works again.

Four more instances where Bright Shiny Objects (BSO) work well in tough situations:
  • Presentations that are not going well -- mention some new, obscure feature or technology and watch the eyes glitter as they quickly forget the facts you were trying to explain, -- oooh, that's neat too, what metrics, i want the bleeferblarb widget
  • Disagreements with romantic partners -- especially useful when it's measured by carats and you're a professional athlete who really f***ed up (literally or figuratively)
  • Gremlinized children who really, really, really want -- oooh, that's neat too, what candy, i want the race car
  • Blog posts in which you really can't explain the whole polar bear thing except to say those meds for the digestive thing seem to have some really funky side effects
I can hardly wait to see what will play out across my eyelids tonight.

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