Monday, October 18, 2010

Junk Mail Prevention

It's October. Don't ask me how that happened. I've decked the halls of my porch with spiderwebbing and orange squash things. @ was so excited to decorate the porch. Gotta love the dollar store for decorations -- he got to go hog wild and buy all sorts of nutty stuff for under ten bucks. At least I don't go broke
making my porch look as webbed as the underside of my house probably is.

That reminds me... There's a black widow living on the underside of the dog's water dish. Flip over the dish and she's sitting there in her web showing off her little red hourglass belly. The hussy.

@ and I decorated the porch last Sunday evening. He's very particular about these things. More web there, less over there. No, turn the pumpkin that way. Put the plastic spider over the doorbell and the skeletons across the doorway. Given that he can't reach most of the places he wanted decorated, he was quite the effective job foreman barking orders

When all was said and webbed, he decided that our porch was sooooooo scary that the mail carrier would be afraid to come to the mailbox. He figured that they'd have to deliver the mail to our neighbor Michelle's house and hopefully she'd be brave enough to bring it to us. Or we could go get it from her. Yes, that's what we'd do. We'd go get the mail from Michelle so she wouldn't have to get scared by our masterpiece of fright.

When I picked him up from school Monday, nearly the first thing thing he mused about in the car ride home was whether the mail was there. He was pretty sure the mail carrier had been scared off.

As we drove into the driveway, he was trying to decide whether it looked like there was mail in the mailbox. Hmm... It looked pretty undisturbed. The lid was closed. No evidence of paper sticking out. Hmm...

We got to the porch and I lifted him up to look in the mailbox.

He opened the lid, looked in, and it was EMPTY!!! Victory was his!

(And it was Columbus Day. But don't tell him that.)

He was a bit disappointed when we had mail the next day, but decided that it was OK that the mail carrier got up the courage to deliver the mail. One day of fright-induced no mail was good enough.

Of course, given the forest worth of campaign no-on-this-yes-on-that-vote-for-me-not-him/her/it mail I've had since then, I'm thinking a live jackal on the porch might not be such a bad thing.

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